Andy Murray Has 50% Conversion Rate at Wimbledon
When this post was originally written, Andy Murray hadn’t yet won a Slam. Not long after it was written, Andy won his first major title at the US Open. Then he went on to win two Wimbledons as well as Olympic gold at SW19.
This post is also notable for the bit of an allusion to the possible fading physical prowess of the aging Federer. Little did we know then that Andy looks to be retiring from tennis before the Maestro. Good thing he didn’t convert on that decapitation, then — and yes, we’ll explain that if you just read on!
So….in 2012, Andy Murray finished with a record of 1 for 2 in head shots at Wimbledon, giving him a 50% conversion rate on tough tactics designed to take out his opponents on the tennis court. His first chance came in the semi-finals, against the unpredictable, powerful, and challenging player Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. With Rafa Nadal out of his side of the draw, the World Number 4 was determined nothing was going to stop him from reaching the final, particularly not a Frenchman. Quel horreur!
So, with Tsonga serving out the third set at 5-3, 15-15, Murray took advantage of a short ball and what we will call Jo’s exposed position at the net. With a speed that can not be captured by feeble screencapping software, or unfortunately by Tsonga’s too-slow racquet, Murray drilled that ball right at Jo’s most sensitive areas.
Jo — and let’s just note right here that other players affectionately refer to him as “Jo-Willy” — gets oodles of credit for not only enduring the excruciating pain of the shot, but dealing with the wonderfully embarrassing conundrum of trying to not grab yourself on international TV while simultaneously desperately needing to. With his good nature, the Frenchman managed to make us sympathetic in our cruel bemusement, and he received a hearty round of applause when he managed to drag himself to his feet and resume the game — and take the set.
“I wanted to run to the other side of net and massacre him,” Tsonga joked later, and he also promised revenge. We’re thinking he’ll wait until there are plenty of cameras around when he decides to execute his master plan, Operation Payback.
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Tsonga won the battle…painfully…but lost the war. So it was no surprise that Murray decided to try another kill shot against his Slam finals nemesis, Roger Federer. Once again at 15-15, this time at 4-all in the 1st, he made his move. Knowing that the 30-year-old’s creative brain makes up for any physical weaknesses these days, the Scot home-runned a shot at net straight for the Maestro’s carefully coiffed noggin.
Luckily for Fed fans, the Swiss master has in his repertoire of skills an ability to employ Matrix-like moves to narrowly escape his enemies’ skilled marksmanship. He tucked that little left arm against his chest and rolled forward just enough to avoid getting his head rattled big time.
While he didn’t succeed in rattling Rog’s brain pan, Murray rattled his serve, breaking the Slam champion to 5-4 before successfully serving out the set. Federer was possibly left lamenting the fact that he had often criticized Murray’s lack of aggressive play. Although, knowing Fed, he was probably impressed. “The fact that he tried to bore a tunnel through my head with the tennis ball shows how much he cares about the game,” he might have thought….
As you all know by now, Murray fired the first shot across the bow of Federer’s attacking ship, but the Maestro answered with all guns blazing. We must give credit to this new, aggressive side of Murray, however, and we’re guessing players might start thinking about protective head gear (of both kinds) for future matches against him.
We’re sure there are many unseemly jokes that can be made about Andy’s 50% conversion rate, like that he aimed for the bigger target in both instances, but we won’t stoop to such levels. Instead we will just share a moment from after the trophy ceremony, when all the humans had left, but the excitement was still there…
TENNIS BALL 1: Did you really touch Federer’s hair?
TENNIS BALL 2: Was it as soft as they say?
TENNIS BALL 3: Yes. And…it smelled like…strawberries.
TENNIS BALLS (unison): *dreamy sighhhhhhhhhhhhh*
Happy Wimbledon Memories, everyone! It’s been fun. Let’s do it again next year.
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PHOTOS: Screencaps of Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Andy Murray, Roger Federer, et al., Wimbledon 2012. Fair use.
(Post edited: 01/12/2019)
