TENNIS INSIDE OUT
Angelique KerberDominic ThiemGarbine MuguruzaMadison KeysMaria SharapovaRafael NadalSerena WilliamsSimona HalepSloane Stephens

The French Open 2018 According to Our Friends : Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Joey, Monica and Chandler

Val and J.D.

Simona Halep poses with Roland Garros trophy in black dress and Rachel season 6 haircut

We here at Tennis Inside Out feel that if you’re going to do a gif post for a Slam like the 2018 French Open, you’ve got to choose an iconic show like Friends, the totally awesome sitcom that focused on the lives, loves, and misadventures of six friends in turn-of-the-21st-century New York. It also helps that we’re currently watching all 10 seasons on Netflix, and that Simona Halep has chosen to pose with her champion’s trophy with a classic season 6 Rachel hairdo and little black dress.

We know, Rachel, we know. The copycatting never ends.

So, you get the idea how this works, right? Especially if you’ve read our Guide to the Australian Open by My Cousin Vinny.

First, let’s summarize the two weeks on the men’s side of the draw, as a few guys with at least a slightly compacted snowball’s chance in hell tried to prevent Rafa Nadal from getting over the goal line for the 11th time at Roland Garros.
 

 

Diego Schwartzman was the only guy to win a set.
 


 
So, yeah.


 
As expected, Rafa was the picture of humility as he addressed the French crowd, opponent Dominic Thiem, and former champion Ken Rosewall, who had all been kinda hoping for a five-set epic final for a change.
 


 


 
The Coupe des Mousquetaires has been awarded to French Open champions 37 times now, and been fervently smooched and bitten into 11 times by the reigning King of Clay….so if we’ve done our maths correctly, that means that almost 30% of that trophy is now coated in Rafa’s DNA.

Keep that in mind, aspiring future trophy-kissing champs.

 

In contrast to the crushing inevitability of the men’s draw, things were pretty spicy on the women’s side of the action. The number one spot was up for grabs, and in the early rounds, French Open champion hopefuls like Simona Halep, Angelique Kerber, Garbine Muguruza, Sloane Stephens, Caroline Wozniacki, and Madison Keys were kicking ass and taking names, with some of the ladies particularly motivated to banish that “bridesmaid” title and finally walk down the aisle with a Slam trophy.

 
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Unfortunately for many fans, especially in the U.S., the TV coverage and much of the press was focused largely on a potential “blockbuster” meet-up in the 4th round.
 


 
This was all made spicier by the fact that Maria’s biography had focused a lot on Serena, and not always in a positive way, and Serena chastised the Russian for not treating the tennis locker room like the sanctity of Vegas hijinks. Or Fight Club.
 


 
Fans of Teh Dramaz were of course hoping for more than just measured responses in press conferences. They were hoping for a catfight to go along with Serena’s catsuit….
 

 
Wig-snatching potential aside, there were other issues with focusing all of the world’s attention on this looming match-up. Despite pundits excitedly shouting “REMATCH OF RIVALS!!!!!” many people who had been watching tennis with their eyes open for the last ten years politely — and sometimes not so politely — pointed out that Serena had won their last 8,495 matches.

Sure, Serena had recently been through a big life change that could alter those typical results, but her fans still figured the multi-Slam champ was likely preparing for this “killer match-up” by sipping a small glass of tepid water and reading through her husband’s hourly tweets of effusive praise for her tennis genius and motherly godliness, via his own and their baby daughter’s promotional account.
 


 
Meanwhile, diehard Sharapova fans were suffering not only the barbs of confident Serena fans, but those of the tennis fandom at large. ‘Cause…ya know…
 

So, while the excited narratives surged and fans stocked up on oxygen and wine, world #1 Simona Halep and recent two-time Slam champ Angelique Kerber toiled on courts in the parking lot, the cameras connected to dodgy online streams where only tennis nerds hang out.
 

 
Then…as often happens with hyped projections of the draw results….the match never happened. While both players made it to the fourth round, Serena withdrew due to a pectoral injury. Many wondered if playing singles and doubles had been in the new mother’s best interest, but anyone who’s ever gotten their limbs stuck upright in the clutches of a diabolically rigid sports bra can’t help thinking that injury may have resulted from trying to get into that catsuit…
 

 
With TV coverage and journalists now scrambling to fill airtime and pages, they finally started paying attention to the other talented women still in the draw. Okay, actually they just found more obscure men’s matches to follow, but when they did decide to throw a crumb to the ladies, well…the nerds finally got the spotlight!
 


 
*****The Bride and the Best Man — CLICK HERE FOR PAGE 2 !!*****


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