Neil Harman Visits Andy Murray’s Loo: Toilet Humor Ensues

Yes, we know Neil Harman is now problematic due to a substantial error in journalistic judgement, but this post is really about Andy Murray. Actually, it’s really about hilariously funny pee-pee jokes, that we hope you still find as stupidly funny as we here at Tennis Inside Out do.

With that said, let us explain. On August 19, 2013, Andy Murray fan and Times reporter Neil Harman posted the photo you see at the top of this post. He asked his followers to identify this room’s part in “tennis history.”* After a suitable interval, he let curious readers know the significance of this travertine and granite shrine:

The first reaction J.D. and I had to this was “Bzuh?”  Considering we were in the car, in the middle of a 6 1/2 hour road trip home from the Cincy Masters, where we’d just spent 10 days in the boiling sun surviving on pretzels, Cokes, and 3 hours of sleep a night, we came up with the following reasons why in the hell you’d refer to a toilet as “Andy’s Place.”

1. Neil thinks Andy is The Shit.

2. It’s where Andy goes when his serve craps out…or when the press dumps all over him.

3. Andy once mistook it for his racquet manufacturer’s onsite office. #TheHead

Lots of immature giggles and a few sleep-deprived tweets later, my TL kindly informed me of the meaning behind Mr. Harman’s tweet:

Ahhhhhh. Gotcha.

4. He went to the loo because he was pissed at Nole.

5. He needed to shake out his nerves.

6. He was relieved he’d already won two sets.

7. Wanted Nole to know ‘urin trouble!

8. Andy needed to make an offering to the porcelain god, in hopes the tennis gods would appreciate it.

9. Wanted to leave Nole a “breadstick”.

10. Didn’t want to be accused of being full of shit during his winner’s speech.

But really…we think the only reason Andy went in there was to find Peter Polansky’s spoon…

 

 

P.S.: I am so excited I had a post I could use that tweet in. My guess on this mystery utensil is it was from one of those guys born with a silver spoon in his mouth. You know it has to come out eventually.

Pee-Pee.S.: I just realized Peter’s initials are “P.P.” Beavis and Butthead would be so proud of this post.

P.P.P.S: J.D. also wanted to say Andy felt it was his duty to win for Britain. I tried to explain that “doody” for “duty” was a great joke for stand-up but was tougher to make work in print. He informed me that he was just the creative genius, and I was the writer who had to figure out how to translate his raw talent into written humor. Let me know if you laughed.

*We apologize that the highlighted link in the second paragraph is no longer active, as Harman deleted his original Twitter account after the plagiarism controversy. We’ve left the link in as a sort of archival proof that we did source his tweet originally, because, well, sourcing is really important.

(Post edited: 1/12/2019)