The Truth About Rafa’s Ass
Most Rafael Nadal fans will tell you that one of the things they admire most about the Spanish tennis star is … his relentless fighting spirit. He’s The Wall you can’t get through, The Bull who never gives up. You can launch a tennis ball out of a cannon while swinging on a trapeze suspended from a hot air balloon above the court, and somehow Nadal will chase that freakin’ ball down.
Many players will crumble if they’re a set down. Some have a breakdown if they’re a break down. Not Rafa. Rarely will he give up on a point, let alone a whole game or set. If you’re going to win a match, you’ve got to win it from the first point to the last.
One day, while marveling at Rafa’s incredible tenacity, J.D. and I had the following conversation (which I later shared on Twitter):
Val: Never count Rafa out. He can play badly, and still pull a win out of his ass.
J.D.: That’s why his ass is so big. It’s full of miracles.
At least we now know what Rafa is constantly pulling out of his arse.
— ton skeel (@naughtyT) January 16, 2012
So, there you have it, Rafa fans. Next time someone harps on you about why your favorite tennis player keeps tugging on his shorts, you can tell them: “It’s not an underwear problem, it’s merely an Excess Miracles issue.” That ought to shut them up.
Twitter is so helpful, it also helped me learn another mystical truth about Rafa’s “famous ass.”
Some of my tweet peeps and I were reminiscing about Rafael Nadal’s famous tumble in the grass at Wimbledon, where he managed to make sliding on his butt and juggling his racquet look oh-so-cool.
@vamos_justdoit: haha it ain’t no thang
@ValerieDavid: I wish he’d teach Fed how to fall. Rafa slips & lands on his butt. Roger usually does a sideways somersault.
@vamos_justdoit: hahah that’s one of the few perks of having a HUGE ass. No matter how you fall, you find a way to land on it
@ValerieDavid: LOL. I knew it was extra cushion, but I didn’t think about it being perfectly weighted for optimum fall trajectory.
Who knew? It really is a Miracle Ass.
PHOTOS: Rafael Nadal, Cincinnati Open 2011, Tuesday doubles match, c2011 Valerie David.
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The truth about Rafael Nadal’s ASS is that it is so alluring and albeit charismatic that it has spawned thousands of subgroups devoted entirely to that big ol fat ass…and these aren’t biological women—these are true blue, salt of the earth, taste-making queens!!! And when it comes to determining the beauty matrix of any and all male posteriors…who knows better than a gay, fa☆☆ot troll….TRUST! that ass should be worn as a hat!!!