For a brief moment in time, Fed fans thought that nursing an Australian Open hangover after the Maestro’s tough semifinal loss to Djokovic (again!) was the biggest of their worries. The 1-6, 2-6, 6-3, 3-6 match blew by very quickly to start, but a rousing ovation of encouragement from the Aussie crowd spurred Fed on to a feisty comeback that gave tennis fans everywhere a reason to cheer. After all, Fedole matches at their best are filled with exquisite points like this one:
This is absolutely bananas pic.twitter.com/OabiEyU2M3
— The Cauldron (@TheCauldron) January 28, 2016
But then the infinitely more ACK-inducing news came, that Federer was undergoing knee surgery for a torn meniscus, and would miss the Rotterdam and Dubai tournaments. The injury reportedly occurred after his tough semifinal at AO, while out walking with his daughters. (ETA: Federer later clarified it happened while drawing a bath for his daughters, which came up again at his AO 2017 win).
There has been some skepticism regarding how a 34-year-old tennis player can run and leap and slide on a hard court and not get injured, but somehow a stroll through the park with the twins (or turning a faucet on, apparently) can suddenly sideline him. 1.) Welcome to the Idiocy of Real Life. 2.) Anyone who has ever walked with children know that they don’t walk. They bob, weave, turn and talk to you while tripping over something themselves, stop short, step on your feet, and generally do things that unintentionally threaten your collective well-being every 30 seconds.
Still, though, we couldn’t help wondering about all the possible REAL REASONS why Rog would go under the knife, and the potential nefarious truths about how he got that injury in the first place. Reasons other than three decades of mileage on those lovely long legs of his, of course. And yes, J.D. just rolled his eyes at that last bit.
Ahem. So, without further ado, we here at TennisInsideOut.com bring you:
The Top 10 REAL Reasons Roger Federer Had Knee Surgery
10. He totally kneeeeeded a break. See what we did there? That was total Grandpa Fed joking there. Oh wait, we forgot to insert 200 storytelling emojis:
9. He had to get all his surgery in before his tennis insurance runs out. Seriously, those premiums are going to be brutal when he’s only making $50 million a year instead of $75 mill….
8. The real cause of the injury is that Rog got Tonya Harding’d by a pack of delusional Djokovic fans* who are royally pissed that even if their man wins 70 Slams and devotes more time to charity than Mother Teresa, Fed fans are still not going to convert to the Church of #NoleFam.
*We are of course not referring to the nice, normal Nole fans we know and love. Please don’t hurt us. But seriously, fanatical people. Djokovic is frakking amazing. Just enjoy your man and revel in the glory. Everyone enjoys a bit of trash-talking, but no need to harass every non-fan until they’re contemplating…well, hitting you with a police baton. In the face.
7. Actually, Rog twisted his knee helping a buddy move. I mean…we all know about sofas and staircases…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….Okay, totally kidding. King Roger would never do anything so common as manual labor. There are servants for that.
6. Okay, truth now… Mr. Federer actually injured himself when he accidentally knelt on the Madrid trophy.
Hey…what was that doing in the bed, anyway?