Yes, we know 2012 isn’t even halfway over yet, but our favorite tennis stars have been so busy getting their hair butchered we thought we’d get a jump on the Worst Haircuts of 2012 post. While Federer dared not cut a lock from his Samson mane during his recent impressive hard court run, and Nalbandian continued to insist the mullet is still in vogue, these pro players decided more dramatic actions were necessary.
Just ask American Andy Roddick, pictured above, about the Mr. T mohawk he was hiding under his cap at the start of 2012. “”I’m pretty sure I only have a year or two left with hair,” he told press in Melbourne, “so I decided to have fun with it while I did.” Asked by a Twitter fan if he “lost a bet,” Andy replied: “I didn’t lose a bet. Just a little bit of pride.”
Then there’s Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who perhaps thought that fashioning his hair into a point might make him look more intimidating, ala a gladiator helmet. Instead, all it conjured up was another comparison:
Next up is the haircut dat broke da Internetz. Tennis beauty Maria Sharapova posted a photo on her Facebook page of her new, sexy blonde cropped ‘do.
Eleven thousand comments, hundreds of web articles, and billions of tweets ensued. There was scandal, intense debate, and laments for a pre-wedding Masha hacking off her long blonde tresses. There may have been rioting in the streets.
Luckily, all was well, as it turned out to be a wig, just like Serena’s.
Ahem. Well, anyhoo, all is well for the Sharapova fans who wondered if she was going to be borrowing some of Schiavone’s barrettes to pin up all those layers. “I love the short hair look,” she explained, “but it doesn’t work with my lifestyle.”
Apparently it does work for Svetlana Kuznetsova, who showed off her punk haircut at Fed Cup.
Moving back to the boys, we have our favorite French showman, Gael Monfils. His glorious hair is as gravity-defying as his on-court acrobatics, and as signature as his bicep-highlighting sleeveless shirts.
That look on Gael’s face in the “After” photo? Pretty much the same look on everyone’s face when they saw his new haircut. That piercing, shattering noise you hear? The sound of a million hearts breaking.
In the Always a Bridesmaid category, we have the Susan Lucci of bad tennis haircuts, Novak Djokovic. Always a nominee, but never quite awful enough to win, the slender Serbian resembles a pencil with a perfectly rounded eraser on top.
During the 2012 Australian Open, tennis legend Martina Navratilova said of Djokovic: “That’s a Chia Pet haircut if ever I’ve seen one.” Dude, if a lesbian disses your butch haircut, you know you’re in serious trouble.
Nole needn’t worry, however, because another of his Top 4 buddies takes the Worst Haircut crown at the moment. Yes, that would be Andy Murray, who apparently decided to follow coach Lendl’s example and intimidate opponents by looking like a hooligan ready to get into a street brawl outside the pub.
It might not be quite so bad if it weren’t for the fact that he operated the razor himself. The unintended result is it looks like he’s lost a bit of hair from the electrodes Lendl hooked him up to in order to zap the negative energy from his brain. Or something like that.
“That stuff doesn’t really bother me that much, to be honest,” he tells The Independent. “I’m sure for some it was a bit of a shock, but I wasn’t that fazed about it.” No Andy, we thought it was you that had had a bit of a shock.
PHOTOS: Andy Roddick, 2012 SAP video screencap; Jo-Wilfried Tsonga press interview screencap, Tennis TV; “Coneheads” screencap, NBC; Maria Sharapova on her Facebook page, 2012; Serena Williams at the 2011 US Open, screencap; Svetlana Kuznetsova, Fed Cup 2012 screencaps; Gael Monfils, 2011 & 2012 press interviews screencaps, Tennis TV; Novak Djokovic, Indian Wells 2012 screencap; Andy Murray, Monte Carlo 2012 preview screencap, Tennis TV.