Ice Bath Pictures — The Four Categories of Freezin’ Your Freakin’ Buns Off
3. Funny — Here we have the “have to laugh or else cry frozen tears” category, where our tennis players have managed to make the torture of being a human Popsicle somehow amusing — either intentionally, or by being somehow impervious to the same kind of catastrophic freezer burn that ruins your favorite chocolate ice cream before you’ve had a chance to finish the whole container.
This could be a trick question from Marcelo below, because despite his hilariously horrified “OMG, I think something just swam up my butt!” expression, Big Kev once again has that clenched-teeth, holding-sides-of-the-tub-for-dear-life pose going on.
As anyone who has swum in the balmy waters of Lake Michigan in June knows, (and yes, by “balmy” we mean 55F or so), there are degrees of discomfort that depend on how deeply you’ve plunged into the depths. It’s not such a big deal to dip a toe into an icy lake, but it gets worse as you progress from ankle to knee to thigh to…well, as Nicolas Kicker can attest — to Critical Area #1.
I think we don’t talk enough of Nicolas Kicker @AtpThirst pic.twitter.com/fqLBZFGwHL
— Cyril (@breadandbow) July 25, 2017
While Nic has the look of a man slowly losing his wits, Grigor is in full-on theatrical scream mode as he surpasses Critical Area #1, his abundant ab muscles painfully sucked in so far they’re touching his spine. Note he did not add the hashtag “shrinkage,” however.
Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub… And you thought Nico and Pierre were in close quarters in the ice bath — here Stan Wawrinka, Stephane Falchi, and Michael Lammer are fully embracing that “the more the merrier” idea. Honestly, we don’t know if this is a hot or cold bath the boys have taken up communal living in, but we couldn’t resist including it.
Boys in the bath #Adorable #Wawrinka pic.twitter.com/N0E5VHqwgQ
— Christina (@chda7777) April 16, 2016
Maybe it’s the black and white, or the bug-eyed roar, but Juan Martin del Potro is giving us serious Frankenstein vibes, although this time there’re no torches, only a thousand ice cubes attacking Critical Area #1.
Delpo back to business. #icebath pic.twitter.com/1flg9Ame4G
— Jess Stein (@jessica4stein) January 12, 2017
For the record, yes, there is a Critical Area #2. The ladies know what I’m talking about (said in best, unintentionally sexist Novak Djokovic voice).
This one of John Peers, Stephane Robert, and Marcelo Melo is amusing for the sheer modern-age slice of synchronized phone-checking, but now we’re picturing them in Monty Python-esque medieval torture devices while calmly tweeting away and it’s even funnier. That may be just us, though.
Busy in sport #spa saloon @Wimbledon pic.twitter.com/RcoquXxQDw
— Sergiy Stakhovsky (@Stako_tennis) June 26, 2016
4. Sexy — Yes, we’ve saved the best for last. While you’ve already seen some examples of sexiness despite the masochism of trying to stop the flow of blood in one’s body, these guys take it to a whole ‘nother Level.
Robert Farah claims he’s in an ice bath, but he looks to have melted all the ice around him with his uber hotness. Just look at that languid pose, that bright-eyed seductive stare, that serenely sexy smile…let’s just say he wasn’t the only one needing “recovery” time after posting this photo.
Icebath en Wimbledon!! Recuperando después de un día largo! pic.twitter.com/7A6Z2PSclh
— Robert farah (@RobertFarah_) June 23, 2016
On the court, young Aussie Marc Polmans typically wears a hat with a little cape to protect his whiter shade of pale skin, which is kinda hard to make look cool. But sans cap…and pretty much all other clothing… dude looks pretty hot in that ice bath.
Congrats @marcpolmans back to back finals in 2 tough US futures. Straight back to work #icebaths @TennisAustralia pic.twitter.com/6wnyW40SeB
— peter luczak (@PeterLuczak) August 7, 2016
Sure, maybe he’s a teensy bit uncomfortable in that ice bath, but somehow Jonathan Eysseric still manages to look like one of those preppy catalog models with the sweater tied oh so casually over his shoulders, suavely checking out the local action on Tinder. Or checking his weather app. We don’t know. We only know it’s sexy af.
And this one of Jon (screengrab courtesy of @ATPThirst) is even more up close and personal, and even more sublimely sexy, and a bonus for anyone that is into hand porn, hallelujah.
Is it hot, is it cold? Who cares, it’s Feli in a bath!!
This one’s definitely cold, but also definitely hot. It’s Baby Borna in his underpants. Even the splash as he hits the water is sexy. We don’t know why, it just is. Just watch this one over and over. You’ll get there.
To honor those who have come here just for the naked man flesh, we bring you the Just ‘Cause: Sexy section of this post. There’s still water involved somewhere, whether it be a shower, or the beach, or a cup of tea…whatever, as long as they’re shirtless, right?
So here’s Lucas Pouille showing his Power by remaining clothed next to the merely towel-clad Diego Schwartzman, with a shirtless Sam Groth photobomb for good measure.
Con mi amigo @la_pouille después de entrenar. // With my friend @la_pouille after practicing day #RolandGarros pic.twitter.com/gtt5pc3Wlz
— diego schwartzman (@dieschwartzman) May 22, 2016
Now Pookie showing a bit of powerful possessiveness with two handfuls of girlfriend Clemence…
Beach babes NK and The Kokk… and this was even before Thanasi made his full-on buff-bod transformation.
Beach!Grigor is something to savor for so many reasons, and the Bulgarian once again shows his gift for balancing the sublime and the ridiculous on social media…
You got a dose of terrorized Dusan Lajovic earlier, now you get to enjoy the hotness of a sexily boating Dusan…
We know everyone is justifiably mad at Fabio and this volatile temperament lately, but we really can’t see any better way to end this post than this….
Oh wait–there’s a last-minute entry from Baby Borna and his abs…and a virtual floating flamingo… Whether that beats the floating unicorn is up to you all.
oh my God. borna pic.twitter.com/SPdOMVyKta
— lindsey (@itslindseeey) August 24, 2017
And really, oh my God. borna could be the perfect way to end this post — and every day of life, if you’re lucky.
Have we missed any great ice bath pics of late? Feel free to let us know in the comments, or tweet us @TennisInsideOut. You may also be interested in our #ShirtlessDomWednesday posts over on Instagram.
