Top 10 Reasons Andy Murray Would Retire from a Match

Andy Murray bad water Wimbledon tongue bleh red wristband Adidas pictures photos images screencaps

Andy Murray is a talented tennis player with a pretty impressive resume, but the conversations about his career usually revolve around his Slam-less state. It’s not easy being the perennial also-ran to Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, and even that pesky old man Roger Federer, who refuses to give up that damn number three spot–unless it’s to go higher.

Murray is also well known for his kvetching on court, for admonishing himself after every point–even if he’s won it. His legs get tired. He starts grabbing body parts that ache. His chin drops to his chest in a cartoonishly exaggerated look of defeat. We expect him to just throw in the towel and walk off the court during nearly every match, so despite the fact that he’s won an awful lot, it’s easy to believe:

The Top 10 Reasons Andy Murray Would Retire From a Match:

10. My mum grounded me. (I’m suspicious, though. Feli Lopez’ match was scheduled at the same time as mine.)

9. I ran out of SPF 1000 sunblock.

8. I burst a blood vessel in my neck from all the bitching venting between points.

7. The “oh my aching back” schtick isn’t fooling anyone anymore.

6. I can cry like Roger but I still can’t win like Roger.

5. I hurt my bum again while “sleeping”.

4. Face it, I’m not British, I’m a Scot.

3. The new Call of Duty game came out last night.

2. It’s a Slam and I’m not going to win anyways.

Murray versus Nadal US Open ugh three break points images pictures red shirt photos screencapsAnd the number one reason Andy Murray would retire from a match?

1. Lendl took my spot in the draw because he believes he has a better chance of winning.

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Click the names to check out more “Ten Reasons…” posts for Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Novak Djokovic.


PHOTOS: Screencaps, Andy Murray Wimbledon 2010, US Open semi 2011. Fair use.

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