Top 10 Reasons Roger Federer Would Retire from a Match

Roger Federer is known for many things, and one of those things is his consistent fitness level and smooth style that helps him avoid injuries better than his more grinding counterparts. In one of his early-2012 snits press conferences, Rafael Nadal lamented the wear and tear on his own limbs in contrast to what he perceived as Fed’s immunity: “”Maybe (Federer) has got a super body and he’ll finish his career like a rose. Neither myself, nor Murray, nor Djokovic are going to finish our careers like a rose.”

Despite the Maestro’s longevity, there have been some wrist issues, groin issues, back issues, and hidden beneath those double-layered socks you’ll often find some taping (and now it’s his hip!). So despite luck and good genes, the man’s not immune to the rigors of the game. Still, we guess most of his reasons for pulling out of a tournament might be mental rather than physical. So, here are:

The Top 10 Reasons Roger Federer Would Retire from a Match

10. I have to keep Stan warm for his match instead.

9. My shirt was wrinkled and my steamer broke.

8. “Downton Abbey” was on.

7. I don’t speak the language, so I can’t look cool.

6. I have caught a form of the Indian Wells Plague and I really don’t think I can play. Well, maybe just one round. Oh. Okay. Maybe another round. Never mind. I think I can win the whole damn thing.

5. They ran out of records for me to break.

4. It’s my $%^&! back again!

3. I’ve only performed two miracles and I need to work on that third one for sainthood.

2. It’s my 40th birthday and I’m depressed I’m only No. 4 in the rankings…

And, the number one reason why Roger Federer would retire from a match?

1. Wait, does this mean retire during a match? Are you fucking kidding me? I would never retire from a match!

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You might also be interested in:

Top 10 Reasons Novak Djokovic Would Retire from a Match

Top 10 Reasons Rafael Nadal Would Retire from a Match

5 Ways Roger Federer May Have Injured His Hip

PHOTOS: (1) Roger Federer devastated after his Australian Open 2009 loss, Getty Images.
(2) c2011 Valerie David: Introspective Fed at practice, Cincinnati Open 2011.